Remember when you were a child, and the things you wouldn’t do because the thought of them was too scary? Not wanting to go to bed at night because of the monsters under your bed, or go on that fairground ride, or into the haunted house, or being scared on your first day at school in case the other children didn’t like you?
Yet as that child you had no choice but to face your fear. You still had to go to bed, You still had to start school. And when you woke the next morning you realised you hadn’t been eaten by monsters, and invariably you came home on your first day and announced to your parents that you’d made friends. The funfair rides were less of a necessary fear you had to face, however not going on that roundabout would mean losing face in front of your friends, and the fear of that was greater than the fear of the roundabout itself. And once you were on the roundabout suddenly the fear seemed a bit pointless really, because nothing scary happened.
As adults we are faced with fears all the time, sometimes even subconsciously. And it is those fears which often hold us back from looking forward and facing the changes we want or need to make in our own lives.
And just like when we were children, the reality of what might happen is often far different from the fear of what we think might happen.
The question we should ask ourselves is “what’s the worst that can happen?” And then, “and if the worst happened, what then?” In truth it’s a question and answer we rarely think about, because we are so blinded by the fear of change that we have often lost sight of what it is we’re actually afraid of.
So ask yourself, what is it you’re afraid of that’s stopping you make the changes in your life? How realistic are those fears, and ultimately, what’s the worst that can happen? And if you put your fears aside, what’s the desired outcome, and how does that measure against the fear which you have been using to hold you back?
The difference between change and fear is that change is a reality. If you want it, you can make it happen. Fear is a perceived reality, a subconscious thought process which prevents you from moving forward into that change reality. But if you face it, accept it, you can move past it into the reality of the changes you want to make.