So often when we feel we are unable to move forward it is because of the reactions and behaviours of other people. Someone tells you you can’t do something, or reacts to something in a certain way and you allow that to hold you back. My reaction when clients tell me that is often to say “who’s that about?” because invariably other people’s behaviours and reactions have to do with them and not with the people they are reacting to, and if you can see that other people’s reactions are about them it is easier to overlook them in order to move forward yourself.
However, sometimes the thing that stops us moving forward is our own behaviours and reactions. Maybe we have internal beliefs which hold us back from doing the things we know we can. Or maybe we have past experiences which have had an impact on the things we want to do/achieve. Or maybe we exhibit negative behaviours or trates which impact on the way we move forward in our own lives and ultimately impact on others.
When asking someone “who’s that about?” the inference is that the comments thoughts and feelings of other people are often just that, *their* comments and thoughts and feelings, and ultimately their behaviours, which have a negative impact on the individual. So, if it is our own behaviours which end up having a negative impact on our own lives, and perhaps ultimately even on the lives of others, it becomes time to take an inward look at ourselves and work out how to address those negatives in us in order to move forward.
We are all responsible for our own reactions. Even if someone else has had a negative impact on us in the past, we are still ultimately responsible for how we choose to react.
It is very easy to pass the blame for our own negative behaviours and reactions on to other people. After all, the impact of others is powerful and should never be underestimated. However, we as individuals still have the ultimate power to choose how we ourselves react and behave, in spite of other’ influences. And if the behaviours we ourselves exhibit are negative, we have the responsibility to recognise that and to seek to address it.
Ultimately, you are responsible for the person you are.