Have you ever been into a situation where you just didn’t feel confident but not appearing confident would be seen as weakness? A job interview? A meeting?? You know that you’re not confident going into that situation, but you know that if you show that you’re unconfident that will weaken your chances of getting the job, or coming across as knowledgeable in front of your work colleagues in that meeting. You know that crumbling isn’t an option, so you grit your teeth, hold your head up, and do what so many of us do, you fake it till you make it. In other words, you pretend that you have a confidence on the outside which you don’t actually feel on the inside.
Then, when you get to the end of the experience, you realise that actually, you didn’t have to fake it, it went really well and next time, you know that you will be able to do the same thing again with a confidence you actually do feel.
For me, having confidence is always preferable to being unconfident. However, sometimes if that confidence is lacking then faking the existence of that confidence is a useful alternative. I’ve certainly been in situations where I wasn’t entirely sure of myself, but rather than lose face I would show an outer confidence which I didn’t feel at the time. But after the event, when things have gone well, I’ve always realised that actually, I wasn’t as unconfident as I thought I was, and that even being able to fake confidence shows a confidence that I perhaps didn’t realise existed.
If you were genuinely unconfident, would you be able to fake it? Even faking it shows confidence.
So, do you fake it? If so, consider that you have a confidence you didn’t know you had.